Deer Hunting Stories Part 1: Sneaking Quietly

Deer hunting with the brothers always produced some interesting stories. Several of my favorites involved my brothers Jessie and Ernie.  I remember one year, about thirty some years ago, it was hunting season, and as usual, we all were in Southern Maryland, I think we were on Mr. Beechum's land (not sure if I spelled his name right), I had found a nice spot in the woods that looked good and sat down, leaning against a tree. Everything around had settled down, it was quiet, the squirrels had gotten use to me sitting there and were playing in the trees. I was sitting very still enjoying the surroundings and just thinking. Then I heard it ........ crash ..... Crash .... CRASH ...... the sound was coming closer and closer........I eased up a little.......sliding  my rifle butt to my shoulder......this had to be the biggest deer ever......my eyes scanned the area where the sound seemed to be coming from.....I spotted movement......could not quite make it out......wasn't as big as I was expecting......colors were wrong.......deer do not wear red......then I saw it.......my brother Ernie sneaking (well his version of sneaking) through the woods......I was waiting patiently.....thinking he would notice me since he was walking right toward me........I finally, I called, "Ernie!"......he jumped....thought he was going to wet himself.....now that I think about it.....I am sure there was a very nasty smell in the air.......Ernie said he thought he saw a couple deer.....I thought to myself, "well sneaking the way he was sneaking, the deer were probably in the next county".  Ernie went on his way and I settled back down......I still liked this spot......things got quiet again and not much later I heard another sound that got my attention.....this was a quieter sound...almost a part of the surroundings....I eased up to a stand and leaned against the tree. I spotted the deer coming through the woods (not in the next county after all). I lined up my shot and then realized there were two of them.....I took my shot and the deer dropped....the other deer froze for a second.........then other deer started to run.....realizing that the rest of the brothers would laugh at me if I let the other deer go, I quickly took the second shot....the army had taught me well......and the second deer dropped. I gutted both and then came the realization that here I was in the middle of the woods.....by myself.....with two deer to bring out....the brothers laughing at me now did not seem like such a bad thing......using a rope (always carry a rope) I tied one to each end of the rope, got in the middle and began to drag them toward the edge of the woods. Seemed like forever but I was finally almost there.......I saw Jessie standing on the other side of the field.....I yelled to Jessie but he did not hear me....Jessie had received a head injury when he was younger and he did not hear well out of one ear....he finally noticed me and ran across the field and asked, "Did you get one?"....Catching my breath, I said "No....... I got two." He didn't say, "What were you thinking shooting two", he just laughed and got in the middle of the rope with me and together we pulled the two deer back to the camp. Jessie never complained that I had cut his hunting day short. That was just the way Jessie was, you could always count on him to lend a hand where needed. But I guess I could say that about all my brothers and cousins too. Tomorrow I will share Deer Hunting Part 2: A Lunch Box, A Car & A Box of Bullets.

Big Chocolate Donuts or Cigarettes

Over the years I have shared with the girls why I don't smoke cigarettes. I am sure at times I talked about health reasons, financial reasons, smell reasons, etc., but the primary reason is "Big Chocolate Frosted Donuts." As I remember it, when I was in Junior High School, my mother gave me a little money for milk each day. If I choose not to drink milk, I could, if I wanted (without Mom's knowledge) buy something else with the money. I had tried smoking a cigarette once or twice to look cool. I always thought I would be pretty cool if I used the money to buy cigarettes, but before I could to buy the cigarettes I had to walk right by a wonderfully smelling bakery. They had to know what they were doing......what young growing boy could just walk right on by......... with all those smells pulling, pulling us ........ annnd this bakery sold the biggest chocolate frosted donuts......I just could not walk on by that bakery without giving in to those donuts. Those donuts would reach out to me.......calling, calling my name and they won each and every time..... I still love chocolate frosted donuts and I still don't smoke....In a head-to-head match......Big Chocolate Frosted Donuts will triumph over cigarettes, each and every time.

The Final Test For A Jumpmaster

The Jumpmaster Course trains paratroopers to be Jumpmasters. Basically, a Jumpmaster is responsible to make sure the parachutes have no safety issues and are properly worn by each jumper before they jump out of the aircraft. They are also the ones who, when the aircraft is in flight and the door has been opened, check the door for safety, then, with feet solidly placed at the edge of the door & holding firmly to each side of the door, lean out the door, and watch for landmarks to identify the dropzone (place where we jump out and hope to land). Once the dropzone has been identified, they give the various prepare to jump warnings, they direct the first jumper to the door, and when the airplane crew gives the "Green Light" (a red/green light next to the door), commands "Go!" to the first jumper. At the command "Go!" all jumpers exit the aircraft about a second apart. The last jumper out being the Jumpmaster.

The final of the course is a pass/fail test in flight on the aircraft. The test is for jumpmaster candidate to be able to check the jumper's static lines, the safety of the door, then properly hang out the door, and then direct the jump at the proper time. I was 13th in line on the plane to take the test. The first in line, a young sergeant decided he would show the Jumpmaster Instructors that he was as good as they were, so he checked the door, placed his hand on the side of the door, and popped his body vigorously out the door, planning to hang as far out as he could but............he was so vigorous........he actually kept right on going out the door........

The next up was a female LT, having watched the sergeant, was much less vigorous and gingerly held onto the door frame, and proceeded to hang outside.........then we heard a faint "help me ......... help me"......then we watched as first one finger, then another, then another popped loose from the leading door edge......until she also followed the sergeant out the door.......the Jumpmaster Instructor, looked out the door shook his head and in each case wrote "failed" on their grading slips and threw the slips out the door after jumpers........now you have to understand that a Jumpmaster never ever "falls out the door" and to fall out during the test was automatic failure of the course. The pass rate for the Jumpmaster Course was less than 50% of those who start the Course. So you know when it was my turn to be at the door for the test.....I had a "Death Grip" on the door....I would not be surprised that the airplane might still have my finger impressions in the door frame.....needless to say I had a good hang and passed the test and became a Jumpmaster. I had a number of interesting jumps over the years, some of which involved running off other jumpers parachutes, trees, thorn bushes, vehicles on the dropzone but these are for another telling

Young, Fearless, Carefree, annnnnd Stupid

I remember the night like it was just yesterday. I was maybe 15 or 16, we (Roger, Gene, and me) were hanging around under the Frederick Ave bridge over Gwynns Falls; that was a cool bridge that we would sometimes climb over the wall on the water side of the bridge to see who could cross .........but that's a story for another time........well back to the current story...somehow we had acquired a couple six packs of beer. We saw a railroad cop coming walking toward us along the railroad tracks and so we hurried up the side of the hill. We had just climbed back up when we were grabbed by two cops who were waiting at the top of the hill. They herded us into the back seat of the patrol car and proceeded to ask us for our names, Roger and I gave names and addresses that sounded like they could be real people & places; Gene on the other had gave them his real name, address, date of birth, mother's maiden name, etc.........well maybe just his real name and address. About this time, the officers noticed another group of teenages who were apparently enjoying a couple six packs also; they jumped out of the car, telling us to stay where we were and don't move! Well.......I looked at Roger .......he looked at me (Roger's stepfather was a cop).............. and we jumped out of the car and took off running and laughing for several blocks; I really don't remember if Gene followed us..........probably did........surely we would not have left him..........well Gene was always a slow runner and Roger & I could almost fly; Turns out Gene was the only one that got in trouble. Roger and I were thankful for fast feet and slow police.